Blog

The Six Stacker: First Edition

Ugh, what an ugly piece of industrial design.

I still buy CDs. Compact Discs. Redbook format. 44.1kHz sample rate with 16 bits of resolution. Designed by Sony and Phillips in the 70s to later shape the 80s. Obsolete in almost every way imaginable.

CDs used to be the chariot that delivered music to the people - now CDs are bits of after-market merchandise. In a grand twist of fate, the music industry bait-and-switched us all into following the rent-a-play, dime in the jukebox model of music ownership again, thanks to Spotify, Apple Music, and so on. If you buy a CD over streaming, most people can and will chide you: “why don’t you just get Spotify?” Because it sucks, Karen.

I think my six-CD stacker in my trusty Nissan Tiida has seen more play than the Globe at this point. I also use it as a barometer of how good a set of albums are - the longer they stay in, the more I tend to like them. They’re only forced out through sheer force of boredom and a craving for novelty. To document my own musical journey, I’m going to blog about the new “batch” of six discs (or vinyl downloads) in my car.

Are they all great purchases or am I wasting my money?


DIALITH - EXTINCTION SIX

These guys may be the most European Philadelphians you will ever meet - all pomp, pageantry, and symphonic power metal. Dialith have taken it upon themselves to combine Wishmaster by Nightwish and V: The New Mythology Suite by Symphony X in a Cronenberg The Fly chamber and create the second part to both in one freakish yet awesome chimera. Krista Sion is a mezzo-soprano superstar, flying over tracks as light as air or diving into a cavernous brutality made in Hades: whatever the tone demands. No, she isn’t Tarja Turunen. Stop asking. Power metal fan, or even tolerant? Buy it.


IN FLAMES - FOREGONE

I know - the cover artwork kind of looks like The Number of the Beast, Iron Maiden’s breakout and most successful album to date. A reminiscence, of sorts? That’s kind of what this album represents: rebirth in the flames of nostalgia. Now that The Halo Effect is a thing and does In Flames better than In Flames does In Flames, the “real” In Flames have stepped up their game a notch. They’ve reintroduced themselves to solid twin-leads and snarling, beastly growls by mainstay vocalist Anders Fridèn, hearkening all the way back to their 2000s era heyday. When that doubled-up lead break half-way through A State of Slow Decay rams through a signature Göteberg double-kick, double-time maelstrom, it feels like home. A home with dial-up internet, cargo pants, and angst, but home all the same. You can teach old Jesters new tricks.


WOODS OF DESOLATION - THE FALLING TIDE

Creaking open like an oaken chest of treasures, The Fallen Tide and its expansive take on “blackgaze” - a wanker portmanteau of black metal and shoegaze - doesn’t come across as pedal-pushing carpet-staring, not even in the slightest. Though this one-man band D. loves his Agalloch as much as his Killing Joke (that pun only makes sense if you say it out loud) streaks of post-punk make for some happy accidents in his misty forest scenes, ripe for coffee and contemplation.


DARKEST ERA - WITHER ON THE VINE

I don’t know where the Irish stereotype of lovable laughing drunk came from, because there’s a lot of depressing shit coming out of Ireland. Frank McCourt novels, Martin McDonagh films, and The Cranberries, I guess. Oh, and Primordial - depressing as all fuck. Darkest Era is doom metal but not cloaked in all that violin and Victorian-era lace and wilted roses patter; it’s more a whimper that heralds the end of the world. Krum (yep, that’s his name) and his delivery is plaintive and defeated - he does edge close to growlier moments but Darkest Era don’t stray too far from slow and funereal; I suppose they leave the embers of Celtic anger to the experts. It’s one long exasperated sigh; a mood so compelling I often take it with me hopping out of the car. “What’s wrong, dude?” Everything. Absolutely everything. Excellent, excellent LP.


SINERGY - TO HELL AND BACK

I guess the alternate title of Little Adobe Photoshop of Horrors wouldn’t have stuck. The cover and liner was designed by someone who just learned ALL the PS blending tools such as “outer glow” and “linear burn” and didn’t care if sticking them all in on PSD file looked awful (or awesome?) Sinergy is Alexi Laiho’s (RIP, ex-Children of Bodom) punk-baroque-n’-roll project with wife Kimberly Goss on vocals. (They never ever divorced. I looked it up.) Goss is essentially Debbie Harry pre-Heart of Glass, before producers told her she could, in fact, sing (cue the hidden track Hanging on the Telephone.) It’s that, with an awesome-in-retrospect line-up backing her - Roope Latvala (ex-COB), Marco Hietala (ex-Nightwish, Tarot) and Tonmi Lillman (RIP, ex-Lordi.) It’s a fun disc that ripsnorts through midpaced headbangers about video games (Gallowmere), semi-mystical quasi-power metal (Return to the Fourth World) and dive bar punk rock numbers prefaced by obscure horror movie samples (The Bitch Is Back.) I wanted this since it came out in 2000, and now I have it. I rule!


GOATWHORE - ANGELS HUNG FROM THE ARCHES OF HEAVEN

Metalheads are supposed to be chaos merchants but cannot get enough of classification. Set metalheads loose in a earthquake ravaged library and you’ll return to neat piles in Dewey-decimal perfection. Add the word “reminiscent” in there somewhere, because BAH GAWD someone is going to fucking use it. Goatwhore is your typical N’Awlins band - they couldn’t give one po’boy n’ Southern Comfort fuck about labels, and it shows. I mean it resembles black metal without glasses on, but you’ll be damned getting frostbitten Norwegians calling it that. There is that sludgy swamp-beating thump throughout, jazzed up by 80s lead breaks at times and unbridled death-to-innocents nihilism at others. Goatwhore don’t make shit albums. Gawd almighty.

Top Ten Heavy Albums of 2022

I must be bored.

I’ve been on holidays from work since the 20th of December and that feels like a whole child ago. I have been eating, sleeping, and repeating ever since.

I feel that my writing bones get dustier and weaker if I don’t flex them more often than not - so here I am, returning to a place I once truly loved; writing about music.

My favourites in the heavy genre - two completely subjective concepts - have kept me company on many a cold (or sweltering) night this year. Some have transcended genre and some have brushed the face of the sublime. One or two could be so dumb you will think twice about talking to me again.

Here’s the list, chum(p):

10. The Halo Effect - Days of the Lost

It’s the inevitable and celebrated collab between Mikael Stanne (Dark Tranquillity) and pretty much every In Flames member that was worth a damn. It’s quite literally not allowed to be shit.


9. I Prevail - True Power

If you have to choose one band that does Linkin Park pop-metal this year, make it I Prevail (sorry, Architects.) I mean, Brian Burkheiser croons that he’s “closer to the edge” in a bracing wall of processed sounds on There’s Fear In Letting Go. Throw fists, fuck shit up, guaranteed more hooks and fewer slurs than anything Fred Durst or Jon Davis dropped.


8. Blind Guardian - The God Machine

Blind Guardian’s constant wry Bavarian winking to the nerds of the world continues on their twelfth album? What the fuck? Surely there’s more than that? Nope, just looked it up, there isn’t. Anyone who hasn’t felt the chainmail embrace of Blind Guardian’s particular brand of steel since Imaginations from the Other Side will yearn for that caress of mithril once more. Getting all the orchestral nonsense out of the way, they shake the land like their ersatz Evangelion Unit 04 stalking the front cover. Queen-y, nerdy, ballsy, folksy, and Hansi in beast mode. Top, top notch power metal.


7. Gaerea - Mirage

With Nergal huffing his own farts and seeing Not-God more often than not, these Portuguese black metal merchants snatch the bloodied sceptre of symphonic black metal from him - though “symphonic” implies a staid, professional distance between audience and performer. Gaerea spread their gilded robes like wings and take on a theatricality, like an Orphean chorus rising up from Acheron and dispensing Eightfold wisdom.


6. Ghost - Impera

Oh no! Not Ghost! They’re shiiiiiit!!!!!

Whether you “get it”, are oblivious to it, or strictly listen under pain of Double Secret Irony, Ghost might be the Grand Funk Railroad we need for these times. The world’s biggest liars are asking you to trust them implicitly even as we shiver through winter and hand over our first born sons for slabs of beer. Doesn’t mean we can’t have a bit of fun. Arising out of the slick songwriting chops of Kent, occult-flavoured songs with the soul of Joakim Berg coursing through them peals an almighty funeral bell; a sign we should all come running.


5. Oceans of Slumber - Starlight and Ash

I was a fool. I thought the apex of soul in metal tapped out at Dug Pinnick (King’s X) or perhaps Anneke van Giersbergen (VUUR, ex-The Gathering.) I was wrong. DEAD WRONG. Can you have gospel spiritual metal? Sure you can. Cammie Gilbert-Beverly’s voice can float on clouds or trawl through bogs of bluesy darkness, striking you right in those dreaded feels. Just like The Gathering or Gazpacho, Oceans don’t need to pummel you with riffage more than charm you with it - and that they do in spades.


4. Cave In - Heavy Pendulum

The roiling netherworld depicted in the artwork isn’t far off the mark - this stuff may has well have come from another planet. It throws you before a Mastodon Blood Mountain altar before easing off the pedal(s) having you settle among the sunflowers in a Alice In Chains meets The Stone Roses jam. That’s one song after the other, mind you. (Floating Skulls and Heavy Pendulum.) If you spin this to a heavy music fan and they don’t find something they like, they are lying.


3. Aeternam - Heir of the Rising Sun

Byzantine metal? What’s next, Carolingian metal? Oh, yes, right. Quebec’s Aeternam conjure the impossible on Heir of the Rising Sun, their follow-up to the almighty Orphaned Land killer Al-Qassam. Though Middle Eastern metal can tumble straight into “Open Sesame” and kebab shop parody if handled by lesser composers, Aeternam whisks one away from modernity into the dust and steel of the Byzantine era, guitars raging thick against dervishes of oud and bouzouki. The Fall of Constantinople is the greatest Byzantine epic never committed to film.


2. Wilderun - Epigone

Metal for the world weary, Epigone is WIlderun’s latest triumph. They fuse Devin Townsend’s sombre introspection with assaults of symphony and guitar that darts and weaves between crushing death metal and awe-inspiring prog heroism. Wilderun’s imagination will astound, move, and leave you breathless more often than not.


Honourable Mentions

Amorphis - Halo

Their finest outing since Skyforger, a strong melodic death effort from these Kalevala-obsessed Finns.

White Lung - Premonition

I’m sad that it’s over, but happy it happened at all? For a final (ha!) outing, these Wall-of-Sound punk rockers couldn’t have done any better. I dunno, but this shit rips

Moon Tooth - Phototroph

Cutting down on the heaviness gives rise to noodly bits of guitar goodness, and I’m here for it

Woods of Desolation - The Falling Tide

Aussie black metal recluse does good, bestowing us a post-punk tinged masterwork for the ravenous antipodes.

Revocation - Netherheaven

Bloodthirsty death metal that guts the competition - not that they really had any. But let’s say they did. They would win.

In Aphelion - Moribund

Black n’ roll that emphasises the black - you’ll even get corpsepainted life-long stick-in-the-muds to nod along. Then they’ll have a few drinks and kiss one another. Ironically.

Devin Townsend - Lightwork

A sprawling two-disc platter that captures his inner turmoil and peace in equal measure. If this is the soundtrack to the afterlife, I wouldn’t be mad about it

He Is Legend - Endless Hallway

A worthy successor to White Bat, full of chutzpah and hooks.

Hath - All That Was Promised

If war is deception, death metal is war. Crushingly heavy with a bit of that elusive pathos buried deep within.

Elder - Innate Passage

Psychedelic prog need not be all fuzz and shag carpets. It can be thoughtful as well.

Seventh Wonder - The Testament

Dreamboat Tommy couldn’t not appear here.


1. Disillusion - Ayam

Such is the human condition, the world of art is one of diminishing returns. A fifteen-year-old longhair will think that Piece of Mind is the pinnacle of musical endeavour until they’re exposed to greater and bolder work. That’s not to say we discount youthful enthusiasm - but we shouldn’t be chasing it, either. These Germans have willed into being an album like nature forces weather together; serene blue skies and tempestuous hurricanes that come from everywhere and yet, nowhere. Through the first listen, one can tell there’s a brilliance inside this piece; though repeat listens reveal its true beauty and limitless power. Before long, you’re mesmerised by it. It remains stubborn on the platter - new records be damned. Metal in all its permutations scarcely feels this evocative, this touching, or this human.