Complete and utter devastation. One can only stare blankly and ask why. I'll be donating to the Bushfire appeals. It's the least we can do.
Agency of Despair
"Looking for starlight
The lady made it alright
She was the lady
And I knew right from the start
Sweet lady starlight
Come on and make it tonight
You turn it on so easy
And the lady is my lady starlight"
- The Sweet - Lady Starlight
When the sun isn't battering me around with its hellish stare, i've been resigned to thinking; my most revered and reviled pastime these days. I wonder to myself; the end game of everlasting happiness and the absence of cares for the rest of my days - could it be sabotaged by my stupid mind and my propensity to want to go one better? Or could I merely spontaneously change using Watzlawick's wisdom:
"Dr. Watzlawick thought people author their own emotional setbacks by striving to fix themselves. He felt the solution was closer and simpler -- adjusting one's self-image to absorb new experiences. The patient looks outward and harmonizes his relationships with others, actively building knowledge and skill in a learning process called constructivism. Emotional health comes from growth, not from healing."
Thinking quietly to myself, I think I actually could. It might not lie here, and the task to reach such a seemingly unattainable goal might end in disaster, but I must try. I don't want to find my happiness because it will be easy. I want to find it where I know it will be, and try to attain it because it's hard to get. And I'll be there to get it soon, I promise. I've never wanted it so much in my entire life.
You and he were...buddies, weren't you?
Watching Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, a timeless cult classic which I thought I had seen to absolute death still cracks me up after watching three times in a row (once with "directors'" commentary.)
I had a good time at the Darkplace party last night; partying 'til 6am felt good again (even if I did take a break during a showing of The Lost Boys.)
I really hope I get one of the jobs i've applied for soon; however K-Rudd doesn't really fill me with confidence. Although I will take his/our money, just for the record.