As a man, I have to know my limitations. Dirty Harry Callahan may have shot first and asked questions later, but in the heat of the moment knowing when to surrender ranks chief among one’s mental inventory for maintaining sanity.
Just like when a girlfriend says she’s leaving, a boss telling you’re let go, or you’re looking down at the shattered remains of your favourite mug, we’re faced with a near existential choice. At least for me, a fire spreads through my body, bracing itself for the inevitable. It is like ants crawling all over me, spitting lava. This would be my breaking point, my Room 101. Am I ready to fight the invincible?
Counter-attack is impossible. All salvos launched, all fighters scrambled, no reserves left. It’s done. Goodbye, sayonara, auf wiedersehen, farewell.
I can feel defeated, sure. Or I can choose to let it go. Once I accept and make peace that what has left will never return, it feels like I have emerged from an ocean’s tempest and rounded a patch of calm upon a warm salty bay. You can do everything right and still lose. That’s fine.
When I take to situations like this, I read Marcus Aurelius Meditations: “Here is a rule to remember, when anything tempts you to feel bitter: not ‘This is misfortune,’ but ‘To bear this worthily is good fortune.’”
What’s this got to do with music? Fuck all. Then again, it’s my blog and not yours. Here’s what was stuck in my car for the last month and a bit: