Crushtor's Guide to Boring Everyone You Know on Facebook

Pasta: Good to eat, terrible to watch as a static image

Good afternoon Blogosphere, Twitterverse and Facebooktopia: here I am, back from the dead (no, not literally) ready to blog about more inane topics rather inanely. During my stint at a never to be disclosed technology based "firm", I probably buggerized around on Facebook more than ever before in such a compressed amount of time. Pouring through lists of websites and other boring shit made marginally less boring shit more appealing to indulge around in. (It probably explains my strange and larger than should be following on Twitter.) But some of this slightly less boring shit actually exceeded the boringness of the shit I was trying to avoid - (que pasa?); hence the rationale behind this post.

Taking Photos of Inanimate Objects at Parties and then Posting them
You've all seen them. Hell, some of you are culprits to this heinous crime. Most of them are just ridiculous over-reportage of the mundane; the pasta someone half-ate, a balloon that looks slightly askew to one in a bunch, an unattended DJ desk; all wastes of people's precious time. You do realize we all die at some point, right?

Groups Started in the Aid of Three Dudes Going Overseas for No Apparent Reason
Yeah, Facebook is sort of like Twitter, LiveJournal and Flickr; but not. In the event all three websites merged all of their servers in some kind of T-1000 absorbancy process which would look fucking awesome if filmed, they unfortunately shall never be.

What's shit about having a group for these things is that if you join it one of the nerdier dudes that comprise the traveling triumvirate who manages to stumble into the downstairs Internet Cafe of their backpacker hostel after another night on the piss can write up a lame and elongated post littered with bad spelling and the liberal use of the word "awesome" to describe the ridiculous and the sublime encountered on their trip.

The kicker is they then force you to read their mangled prose, because you'd feel like an arsehole if you didn't and it'd be awkward once they came back and asked "so dude, did you read my Facebook post?" and all you could produce is a half-hearted "Ahh, yeah man, it was cool" even though both of you know you're lying.

Re-Posting of Internet Memes Well Past their Use-By
Some people take some adjusting to the "new" way of the world and the immediacy of the Internet; because that's how it works; Zeno's Arrow is wherever you see it as at that particular moment; the past on the internet is meant to be forgotten. Like Strong Bad says - the internet is a place where absolutely nothing happens. Why ruin it by wasting time with time wasters everyone has already wasted their time watching? Benny Lava, I'm On A Boat, Beached Kiwi Whale; they are dead. To everyone. FOREVER. Let them rest in peace. Please. (Signed, the internet.)

There you have it fan(s), another worthless rant in an overcrowded world of worthless ranting. If only I could condense this to 140 characters...