It's done. The thesis is finally handed in and done with. Unless it's a complete cock up, you may call me Master.
But in the last couple of days I've just been feeling incredibly directionless and empty. The words are affixed to paper and the work that I've poured into them seems to have amounted to little more than a pat on the back and a couple of letters I can stick on the end of my name on my business card. It seems my life since the start of 2010 was almost defined by the pursuit of this qualification - now its at the end, I've fallen into the void between a closed point and a new beginning and I'm fumbling around in the dark while I figure out my route out of there.
So I ask myself: what now? There's no concrete succession plan when you're asked to hand in your library card and gun* at the end of (another) degree. You're given the diploma and some platitudes and you're sent on your merry way.
Quite vaguely, I do have a goal. I'll be embarking on another journey towards integration and recovery for the last half of the year, reinforcing my "spine" and softening my "heart." During this time I'll be working to establish myself in the tightly bound and seemingly impenetrable media culture of Australia or even...the world?
I've said my (online) thank yous and perhaps now it's time to say my goodbyes. I was looking for work online the other day when it dawned on me - there's now nothing keeping me in Melbourne; I could theoretically work anywhere I wanted (domestically of course.) So I unchecked the "Melbourne only" option for the first time while browsing careers websites. Why restrict myself to one place? You can't follow your dreams sitting in the one spot, unless your dream is sitting on the couch all day playing Xbox.**
Now I close my thesis diary with this: Thank you, friends. I love you all. Wish me luck.
*they issued me with a gun?
**I don't even have an Xbox. I hear they're quite fun.