This has become one of those dipshit blogs that don't update often and look like a graveyard circa 2004. I didn't even bother doing one of these lists last year.
In the past when I wrote about albums, I'd rattle off their superior qualities in comparison to others. The typical adjective Olympics, "I went to more uni than you did" toss. This year, I am going to keep it simple: which records did I listen to the most? I'm not even going to look up Last.fm to figure it out, either. I think I can remember which records stayed on my turntable or CD player the most. I'm not a fucking robot.
I just can't help myself. I'm like a fat kid eying off the last slice of pizza or a Kardashian with an internet-enabled camera. I just have to do it. I've been writing these lists for about ten years now, so why stop? Because THEY don't want me to? In the words of the great prophet DJ Khaled, THEY don't want me to, therefore I must. (I don't think he said that last part. Did I just play myself?)
2016 sucked ass in so many ways. Music was the one way it didn't. Here's my Top 10 in order of what I thought was the best - remember when people did that? Yeah anyway:
SPECIAL MENTION: Gunship - Gunship
The fact Gunship is "retrowave" precludes it from a place on a mosh/metal/punk list. But it really is my favourite this year. It's not a mere 80s nostalgia trip, it's something trancendental. It's new, it's old, it's like it was always with you. (Killjoy Deluxe Owen tells me this came out in 2015. THANKS BRO)
SEE ALSO: The black celebrated 80s sounds of The Black Queen's Fever Daydream.
1. White Lung - Paradise
I might need a new copy of this on vinyl cos I've played it so much this year. Punk, pop, perfection.
"Really Tom, you are into fuckin Architects now?" When a band produces something with as much heart as this, you bet your ass in the middle of a prison riot that I dig 'em.
6. Vektor - Terminal Redux
Space metal. Enough said.
7. Evergrey - The Storm Within
Sweden's dreamboat not only floats, but cruises over emotional seas in this front-to-back belter.
8. Rotting Christ - Rituals
Beware of bloodthirsty Greeks bearing riffs.
9. Witherscape - The Northern Sanctuary
'Member prog metal? 'Member when it was cheesy but awesome at the same time? OH, I 'Member!
10. Sabaton - The Last Stand
History metal that's more historic, battle-ready, and epic than ever. Duh.
I'm drawn back to this empty screen each year to secrete my opinion on what I enjoyed this year. I've been doing it since at least 2009, back when I thought writing about music conferred some kind of numinous insight into music. I listen to a lot of bullshit and I'm cynical as hell. Sometimes, I leap out of my chair and whip my (no) hair back and forth in ecstacy. Some of those discs did that to me this year. Here's a numbered list of them.
1. Gazpacho - Molok
These guys are out of this world. Prog rock that's actually progressive and actually rock. It runs from ancient esoterics to futurist wanderings. This is such a trip. At the end there's this code that might blow the world up. For a second there, I tensed up and clenched my eyes tight...
2. Ghost - Meliora
It's pop music painted black. If metal had something close to Pet Sounds, this might be it.
3. Melechesh - Enki
Invoking ancient evil never sounded so badass.
4. Four Year Strong - Four Year Strong
Pop-punk? Fuck off, Tom. This can't be good. Actually no, fuck you. It's brilliant.
5. Hellions - Indian Summer
Saviours of Australian heavy music. Get into them before they burn out in a haze of cocaine dust.
6. Baroness - Purple
Sublime and surreal sounds from Savannah, again. John Baizley is a true artist in every sense.
7. Steven Wilson - Hand.Cannot.Erase
The concept reads like a Hugo winner and sounds like a stoner's dream.
8. Trials - This Ruined World
Thrash done with brains and heart. Riffs born with destinies deeper than "must imitate Metallica" are winners.
9. Soilwork - The Ride Majestic
I never thought Soilwork would make one of these lists again. Boy, I was wrong. Hard.
10. Pyramaze - Disciples of the Sun
lol Power metal. I thought these guys were just a cheap, clean version of Mercenary. Nope. Crisp production and brain-worming hooks do justice to the genre. Finally.
The Honourable Mentions
Gold Award - Black Breath - Slaves Beyond Death Silver Award - Sigh - Graveward Bronze Award - Gloryhammer - Space 1992: Rise of the Chaos Wizards
14. The Black Dahlia Murder - Abysmal 15. Deafheaven - New Bermuda 16. My Dying Bride - Feel The Misery 17. Killing Joke - Pylon 18. Cancer Bats - Searching for Zero 19. Earth Caller - Degenerate 20. Born Lion - Final Words
