With Crystal Clarity

"Every moment waited is a moment wasted and each moment wasted degrades your clarity of purpose."
- David Deida

Though the road has been fraught with obstacles and "bumps," the past month has been one of intense pain and likewise, great self-discovery. Yesterday I was contemplating my life goals and as such, wrote them down. In a nutshell, I wrote three: To be happy as a paid writer, to try my hand at professional filmmaking and to be a world traveler and eventually citizen. Suddenly, in the act of acknowledging my own self-purpose, all petty and immediate concerns washed away. 

As a man, I feel stronger with a mission in mind and achievements to be made. Setbacks are only that - they may add time and frustration to your journey but eventually they are overcome. To be honest, if your computer dies, a girl you like rejects you or a boss chews you out for arriving late for work and you rank those amongst your worst problems then you haven't really got any real problems and are more than likely "awfulizing."

In the current medium-term, it is to finish my Master's and throughout it save enough money to move out of my parents' house once and for all.

I encourage all men to list their life goals, regardless of age and not to dwell on whether they have accomplished them or not. You don't have to do it right, you just have to do it.

(cross posted at It's A Dude Thing)

Itsadudething.com

I've hinted at my next web project for a few weeks now, but I've finally decided to move forward with it.

I've registered the domain itsadudething.com. The thrust of the site is simple - it's a blog and site for men who want to reclaim their masculinity.

Reading a myriad of books on masculinity and manhood, I've come to realize that at least in my life, my masculinity was looked down upon as something shameful. My mother and father both sent out messages during childhood that my manhood was undesirable - that my agency and inner "wild man" as Bly would put it ought to be tamed, muted and exorcised. 

Even society has forced men into a corner. Look at countless depictions of men on television and you'll see them as gormless boobs that don't know their arse from their elbow. Some of them are even rewarded for being clueless (the Ross and Rachel saga from Friends comes to mind.)

Men tell other men they are "whipped" by their women yet their pointed finger points straight back at them. Men are afraid of intimacy and dating because they conflate "respect" with "submission." Some men lead lives of quiet desperation sat in front of the television when they could be living a much more fulfilled life instead.

Men are born free yet everywhere they are in chains.

So working closely with some of my brothers we will write articles about our journey from the "nice guy" to the loving yet assertive integrated male. I also hope to get interviews with men from a variety of occupations to discuss men's issues also. I might make a little cash from it too!

I hope all you dudes (and sympathetic chicks) can join us!

Steps to an Integrity of Mind

During this social media moratorium* I've been doing a wealth of reading - mostly re-reading psychology books such as Drs. Ellis and Harper's A Guide to Rational Living (I started re-reading it yesterday and am almost finished - It's incredible what can be accomplished when you decide to walk away from a computer!) I'm also re-reading much of my "useful resource" library that can be accessed here.

In addition I'm getting out of the house more - just because!

The ability to silence one's chatter to allow one to think, challenge and pose new questions is severely hampered by the "Niagara of words" as Samuel I. Hayakawa once noted. Twitter and Facebook updates with a frequency that is twice or even three times as quick than the human nervous system could possibly parse and understand. If our abstraction processes are routinely incomplete then surely social media networks are passing around discrete packages of shortened information that are whittled down into something almost nonsensical (insofar we are unable to extract meaning from them via our senses.) So why is our mind being littered with tiny tracts and tidbits? Where is our mindfulness in this instance?

In my view, mindfulness is being conscious of your abstraction and subvocalization process - also known as metacognition or "thinking about thinking." You are most likely not reading this post aloud and thus subvocalizing the words. But how often do we sit back and think about what we are telling ourselves about the world?

Usually we are unaware of our own thoughts. These are powerful - they impact on our emotions and behaviors. If the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis and researches of Count Korzybski are held to be valid, our reality is inferred and created by what we tell ourselves and how we derive meaning from the outside world. If we tell ourselves we are a "piece of shit" or unable to handle certain situations we feel we have been trapped in a cage built by our reactions to a largely self-constructed semantic environment.

It is true - we only have limited choice when considering the vastness of the cosmos and the immediate macrocosm that we see. Standing on the corner of the street we can choose what direction to travel and whether to peruse a shop, book a holiday or even chat up a girl we find attractive but causality remains. But there are some things we cannot prevent and other things we are completely incapable of. But that does not make life unlivable, harrowing or awful. We adapt to our environment as best as possible and carve out happiness within it.

The universe is indifferent but the way we choose to see it is up to us entirely. Even if one is a cognitive neuroscientist, a believer in the eight-circuit model of consciousness or a strict religionist or somewhere in between, we all choose to adapt to these methods of thinking - no one forces us. At the end of the day we are alone in how we conduct ourselves and how we perceive the outside world. Belief is the death of intelligence. Belief in the irrational is the death of one's agency and one's mental freedom.

Much like Marcus Aurelius says - Do you not possess reason? With reason doing its job, what else could you possibly want or need? It can feel like a struggle to become rational in an increasingly irrational world - but, at least in my opinion, it is one of the most worthwhile endeavors one can ever take.

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*I am aware that some of my non-social media activities on the web cause automated tweets to be sent, such as posting this blog or "loving" tracks on Last.fm, etc. This does not constitute a "breaking" of the moratorium according to my criterion.